The Communication Crisis Threatening Family Legacies: New Research on Emotional Governance

The Communication Crisis Threatening Family Legacies

100% Have This Problem. Half Do Nothing About It.

Franco Lombardo and Thomas Clark interviewed 77 people across wealthy families spanning five continents. Not one family—zero out of 77—said they lacked emotional challenges. Yet nearly half are doing nothing to address them.

The consequences: 67% of next generation members cannot see a clear path to taking over what their families built. Six times more NextGen than current owners feel undervalued.

"The biggest enemy to any relationship is silence," Franco explains. "And there is silence because family members don't feel emotionally safe to speak their truth with each other."

The Generational Perception Gap

Current wealth holders identified their top two emotional challenges: entitlement and rivalry. Both pointed at the next generation.

NextGen's top two? Lack of communication and excessive control. Both pointed at the older generation.

Same family. Different problems. No safe space to discuss it.

The preparation disconnect is equally striking. Current owners evaluate NextGen on technical capabilities—skills, abilities, leadership. NextGen says what they actually need is emotional maturity and readiness.

Almost 50% of families are doing nothing to bridge this gap.

"The founding generation is looking at it with a parental lens. NextGen looks at their parents through a different lens. The lack of communication isn't because founders don't want to communicate—they're afraid. They don't know how to." - Franco Lombardo

Why Governance Documents Aren't Enough

Family constitutions. Shareholders' agreements. Family councils. Nearly every family office has invested in these frameworks.

Yet the research reveals: "Families are leaving it to their governance structures to deal with issues, readily acknowledging those structures aren't designed for what they're facing."

Franco shares a case study: A youngest son consistently showed entitled behavior—enabled by parents who never held him accountable. After a liquidity event, he sued his father for wealth he wasn't legally entitled to. The mother paid her son's legal fees to sue her husband.

"All because of 'I am owed.'" Bad behavior left unaddressed doesn't improve with time or money. It escalates until intervention becomes unbearable.

Emotional Governance: The Missing Foundation

Traditional governance covers business decisions. Emotional governance covers emotional management within the family system.

The Veritage approach starts with individuals. Each family member examines their personal narrative about money and relationships. What unconscious beliefs drive their decisions?

Once individuals understand their patterns, the family establishes guiding principles—specific, measurable agreements on how to treat each other as humans first.

"You're either doing it or you're not," Franco emphasizes. "We create that container of safety individually, then collectively."

A 78-year-old founder feared including spouses in the family development process. His vulnerability gave everyone permission to be honest. The dynamics transformed. He later texted Franco: "What a journey our family has had. For me, it ranks as one of my greatest experiences in life."

The Money Motto Driving Every Decision

Every person operates from an unconscious narrative about money. Franco identified five patterns:

• The Investor: Invests money, invests in relationships

• The Spender: Spends money, emotionally "takes" in relationships

• The Self-Spender: Constantly gives themselves away

• The Valuer: Treasures possessions and relationships equally

• The Fearer: Self-sabotages both wealth and relationships

"How we do money is exactly how we treat our relationships, including ourselves."

One daughter avoided all money conversations. Through coaching, she revealed her belief: "Money is dangerous and breaks up families." Growing up, she'd watched wealthy friends' families fall apart. She unconsciously blamed money.

Once reframed—money provides opportunities—she became actively involved. She now runs the family foundation.

Why Two-Thirds Can't See Their Path

When NextGen reports they cannot see a clear path to leadership, the assumption is they lack preparation. The research suggests something more troubling: they're being planned for, not planned with.

"You can't just take a template and apply it to your family," Thomas emphasizes. "Each family is different."

Successful families co-create succession plans. One family implemented rotational programs where NextGen started in mail rooms, working through every department. Only then could they identify where their skills might contribute.

Here's surprising: 95% of both current owners AND NextGen feel enormous pressure to perform—primarily from themselves. Two highly charged generations. Neither feels ready. And they're not creating outlets to discuss it.

Four Questions to Answer Now

Franco offers four questions families can address immediately:

1. What's the vision? Not just for assets, but for family relationships—and how those two intertwine.

2. What needs to be addressed? What's swept under the rug, avoided, left unspoken?

3. What environment enables difficult conversations? What conditions allow you to address what needs addressing?

4. What's the maintenance system? What long-term structure ensures you maintain the environment?

"If you're not clear on these answers, get to work now," Franco urges. "They're not going to become clearer over time."

Thomas adds: "Ask yourself—if you could have one conversation across generations that would strengthen your family, what would it be? Then have that conversation. Don't wait for next quarter."

The Choice Facing Every Family

The research illuminates something profound: the challenges aren't really about money. They're about human beings navigating complex relationships under unique pressures.

"At the end of the day, we're all human beings with fear and pain," Franco reflects. "Most don't want to face the fear or feel the pain. So we create complex coping mechanisms to avoid—texting, drinking, working, shopping, building the business, everything but facing what we need to face."

Families that successfully transition wealth aren't more skilled at financial planning. They're more willing to be honest about the emotional challenges those structures require to function.

Franco and Thomas will publish complete research findings in Q1 2026. But their message is clear: the time to address emotional governance isn't after a crisis erupts. It's now.

"You either take action or you don't. There has to be a desire. This really matters. This is the future of my family."

The choice isn't whether to have these conversations. It's whether to have them intentionally now, or wait until crisis makes them unavoidable.

Key Takeaways

• 100% of families identified emotional challenges; nearly 50% are doing nothing

• 67% of NextGen cannot see a clear path to leadership

• Current owners see entitlement/rivalry; NextGen identifies control/communication

• Traditional governance fails without emotional safety as foundation

• Unexamined "money mottos" unconsciously drive every financial decision

• Successful families co-create succession plans WITH NextGen, not FOR them

• Vulnerability from leadership gives permission for family-wide honesty

Watch the full conversation with Franco Lombardo and Thomas Clark.

About the Speakers:

Franco Lombardo and Thomas Clark lead Veritage International, pioneering "emotional governance" for wealthy families by creating psychologically safe environments for authentic dialogue.

Francesco "Franco" Lombardo, Founder and Chief Executive Officer of Veritage International

For more than twenty years, Francesco "Franco" Lombardo has advised some of the world's most diverse and wealthiest families on sustaining both their financial legacy and family relationships. His corporate experience, combined with his personal journey of emotional self-discovery, provided him with unique insight into the pressures facing high-net-worth families and the challenges of preserving not only wealth but also the well-being of future generations.

Franco founded Veritage International, a global advisory firm dedicated to building relational governance through his proprietary Safe Space™ model. This holistic approach empowers families to communicate authentically about money and relationships, fostering emotional connection across generations and cultures.

As co-creator and lead facilitator of the Scone Project and Maasai Project—invitation-only leadership development programs for next-generation business family members—Franco is committed to nurturing emerging leaders. He also founded and hosts INFLUENCE, an exclusive gathering of ultra-high-net-worth families focused on deepening familial relationships and exploring what influences their business decisions and succession planning.

Franco is the author of five books and hosts the podcast "Safe Space with Francesco Lombardo," where he explores the financial, human, and social capital of family businesses with diverse guests. He has presented for the Milken Institute, Campden Wealth, Institutional Investor, and Tiger21, among others. Featured in Spear's Magazine as "The Truth Agent," Franco was recently inducted into the Family Business United Hall of Fame for his exceptional contributions to advancing the family business field.

Thomas Clark, Chief Operations Officer of Veritage International

Thomas joined Veritage International as Chief Operations Officer in 2023, bringing nearly 15 years of experience in the family business field. He began his career at Business Families Foundation (BFF) in Montreal, where he discovered his passion for education and content development. During his 8 years with BFF, Thomas was instrumental in developing an extensive and diverse portfolio of interactive content and educational tools to support business families and those wishing to pursue an Intrapreneurial Initiative.

Following BFF's merger with Family Enterprise Canada (FEC) in 2020, Thomas served as National Director of Content Development, leading research on Canadian family business transition intentions and barriers. His work focuses on preparing, integrating, and supporting the next generation to flourish in their family business roles.